Updated: Jul 27, 2020
Let's talk about something real. Something that affects more than 75% of the women and men I know. Daddy Issues! I've grown accustomed to seeing people who have been abandoned, neglected, abused or have had inconsistent relationships with their fathers. I've never realized this was an issue until my husband used this term in an argument. Immediately when the words spewed from his lips was the moment I reflected on the very thought that I had daddy issues. Before my husband ever mentioned this, it must have been a thought in my mind. I'm sure the pouring of myself in the book Framed with Purpose must have triggered some emotions in this area of my life. I realized it was easy to write about my mother. However, it was extremely difficult writing about the role my father played in the early years of my life.
What happens when your attempt to seek closure with these issues fail and you're presented with lies, excuses and more deception? Well that's what happened to me. Not once but twice. I guess I could've become bitter and resentful, but I refuse to allow it to taint my spirit. Allow me to be honest for a moment. Initially I was angered to the point of screaming to the top of my lungs throughout the second discussion. Then I realized that it was apparent that my father will never accept fault for his wrong doings. I don't think he realized all I expected was a simple apology.
Healing from these family dynamics are difficult and can replay itself in our adult years. The wounds we bear can show up by way of fearing to love, lack of boundaries, seeking unhealthy relationships, trust issues, feeling unworthy, starving for affection & attention and falling for potential. There are practical steps you can take to heal. I recommend you allow God in any empty space before you do anything else.
1. Understand that you are not alone.
2. Acknowledge your pain.
3. Stop holding on to the hurt.
4. You may never forget but FORGIVE!
5. Never allow the pain to spill into your personal relationships.
6. Give yourself permission to experience healthy love.
7. Set healthy boundaries.
8. Seek counseling (If required)
9. Love yourself!
10. Pray when these negative emotions are flared.
xoxo Monique Chantel Johnson